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Lego
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Mechanics
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How Top Gun Should Have Ended
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Spa Time
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USS Virginity
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You think your hangar is packed?
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F-18 Carrier Operations
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OK, you’ve just lost your lights, what are you going to do?
Scene: Student and instructor are on a dual, night cross country.
Instructor: Turns down the panel lights, “OK, you’ve just lost your lights, what are you going to do?”
Student pulls out a flashlight.
Student: “I get out my flashlight.”
Instructor grabs flashlight.
Instructor: “The batteries are dead, now what are you going to do?”
Student pulls out another flashlight.
Student: “I get out my other flashlight.”
Instructor grabs next flashlight.
Instructor: “The bulb is burned out on this one, now what?”
Student pulls out yet a third flashlight.
Student: “I use this flashlight.”
Instructor grabs this one too.
Instructor: “ALL your flashlights are dead. Now what?”
Student: “I use this glow stick.”
Instructor: “Sighhhhhh, just fly the plane without any lights, OK?”
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Why I Want To Be A Pilot
When I grow up I want to be a pilot because it’s a fun job and easy to do. That’s why there are so many pilots flying around these days.
Pilots don’t need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments.
I guess they should be able to read a road map, too.
Pilots should be brave to they won’t get scared it it’s foggy and they can’t see, or if a wing or motor falls off.
Pilots have to have good eyes to see through the clouds, and they can’t be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them than we are.
The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots don’t because they know how easy it is.
I hope I don’t get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick, I couldn’t be a pilot and then I would have to go to work.
— purported to have been written by a fifth grade student at Jefferson School, Beaufort, SC. It was first published in the South Carolina Aviation News.
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Deer On The Runway
CFI and his Student are holding on the runway for departing cross traffic when suddenly a deer runs out of the nearby woods, stops in the middle of the runway, and just stands there looking at them.
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off.
Std: “What should I do? What should I do?”
Inst: “What do you think you should do?”
(think-think-think)
Std: “Maybe if I taxi toward him it’ll scare him away.”
Inst: “That’s a good idea.”
(Taxi toward deer, but deer is macho, and holds position.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN.
Std: “What should I do? What should I do?”
Inst: “What do you think you should do?”
(think-think-think)
Std: “Maybe I should tell the tower.”
Inst: “That’s a good idea.”
Std: Cessna XXX, uh, there’s a deer down here on the runway.
(long pause)
Tower: Roger XXX, hold your position. Deer on runway NN cleared for immediate departure.
(Two seconds, and then — by coincidence — the deer bolts from the runway, and runs back into the woods.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for departure, runway NN. Caution wake turbulence, departing deer.
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When Student Pilot Is Lost…
Student Pilot: “I’m lost; I’m over a lake and heading toward the big E.”
Controller: “Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar.”
(short pause)…
Controller: “Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to the big W immediately …”
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Request a straight approach
Student pilots often learn the mechanics of flying before the details of communicating on the radio.
Female student pilot with a pretty voice: “Cessna X … Ready for takeoff, request a straight approach.”
Male ATC: Cessna X takeoff approved. I’m off at 5 if you want to go out for dinner.
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Hi Mom
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Student Pilot
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Become a pilot, they said!
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Low-cost primary training
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Before and After Flight School
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Student Pilot Crashes Simulator
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Student pilot and a tad confused controller
Several planes were running up and waiting to take off, many Cessna’s including a 337. With all the students and several similar call signs, the controllers were getting a tad confused. The controller finally asked: “Cessna 123YZ, are you the Skymaster?”
A slightly confused voice with an indeterminate accent replied, after a moment, “Well, my instructor says that I am very good, but I do not think that I would yet be considered the ‘Skymaster.’”
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A tad confused controller
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